Men are a prideful lot and can be downright prickly when that pride is stung. Heaven forbid, I try to get my husband to build a fire any other way than “ala naturale”. I swear it’s an affront to his masculinity if he can’t build a fire from nothing. That’s all well and good most times, but sometimes you need a fire and you need it now. If I dare suggest he use some modern day help, he shoots me a “Woman, this is man work!” look which means I have stepped on his macho toes.
To better understand a man, it is necessary to know why he is so prideful. From the beginning of time, man has been the protector and provider for a group of people whether they be his family, his clan, his tribe, or his country. Throughout his life, a man must accomplish many things. He must provide a life for his family and dependents. He must prove himself to the world. He must protect those around him whenever necessary. In order to accomplish these things (and let‘s face it sometimes these tasks are huge), a man must think highly of himself as my grandmother would say. He must believe that he is Superman, that he can do anything, and that no one can defeat him. A man who does not believe these things about himself may be just as worthy as the next man, he simply doesn’t believe that he can be.
How does this tie into our Steele Magnolias? Simply put, a man who believes that he “knows all and can do all” is severely put to the test when dealing with a woman just as strong and “all knowing” as he. Not all men can handle a strong woman. Not all men are confident enough of themselves to step to the side (not behind, but to the side) and let a strong woman do her thing.
Not all men understand that a Steele Magnolia needs her space, but she also needs him. She may be strong, but she is soft.
When my Papaw passed away, I was heartbroken. Oh, we knew it was coming, and it was time for him to rest, but I didn’t have to like it. One of the greatest men of my daily life was gone, and it hurt. For days, I had been with my family- at Papaw’s side on his last day, planning the funeral the next, visitation day, and the day of the service itself. For me, these were all things that I had to do for myself and others. I had people to hug, tears to shed, a man to honor which left me a busy, crying mess. My husband knew that I needed room to flit around during those hard days, to love on relatives and be loved back, but he also knew that I needed to borrow some strength to see it through.
All throughout the graveside service, my husband stood right behind me- standing tall, arms crossed, at the ready, his chin resting on my head. His stance told me he had my back come what may. He was big and strong and giving it all to me on that day. He also knew that if he put his arms around me during the service I would crumble. I needed to know he was there, but too much softness would have melted my armor. I couldn’t have got through the day.
He knew that I needed to borrow some strength to see it through. His standing right behind me told me just that. Yes, men are a prideful lot who think mighty high of themselves, but then again they have had to do just this since the beginning of time in order to not only survive but to flourish. A smart woman knows that she must let her man be a MAN and not clip his wings. A smart man will realize a strong woman can be a the greatest gift of his life. She is not an insult to his male self, but the best friend and helper he’ll ever find
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